Because My Wife Is An Arkie....

Forrest City, Arkansas is a relative stone's throw from the town (Moro, Arkansas) where my wife's family originates. Having visited Arkansas several times, I find there are only three types of people in the entire state: 1) those that love you and care for you; 2) those that are opposed to you and everything you stand for; and 3) those that follow the lead of the guy discussed in the following article from MSNBC:

Naked Came the Burglar ... Then Came the Police --Cops: Wannabe Thief Nabbed in Nude When He Gets Stuck in Window

Authorities say a would-be burglar's plot was foiled when he got stuck — naked — in the window of a house. The man was caught before he could take anything from an apartment he was allegedly trying to rob, Forrest City police said.

Okay, I can understand how a novice burglar could misjudge the wiggle room for entering or exiting a domicile when there is a window-mounted air conditioner involved (although a smarter person would have jimmied the door), but what's the deal with burglarizing a home in the nude? Is he related to the burglars depicted in Home Alone?

Dennis Reed Jr., 19, was arrested Saturday when police found him stuck between an air conditioning unit and a window frame of the apartment, police said. Reed was nude when police found him.

Even in Arkansas, where there is an ultra-conservative church on every corner, there had to be a lot of laughter among the police and the communuity when the details of this case were made known. I am willing to bet that even the preachers and pastors got a knee slap from this one.

Reed told police that he was forced at gunpoint to break into the apartment by a subject he only knew by his first name.

It appears that Reed isn't smart enough to find a plausible excuse for his action. I wonder if the police are going to call in Columbo to hunt this mystery man down.

Officers and emergency personnel initially tried to free Reed but were unsuccessful. Reed was finally freed after the fire department's rescue squad personnel entered the apartment and removed the air conditioner.

I wonder if they used the burglar's own tools?

Reed was charged with residential burglary and taken to the St. Francis County jail, police said.

Methinks they should have taken him to a psychiatric unit for evaluation, referred him to a social worker to assess his social needs, then referred for psycho-educational testing to assess his learning disabilities, and then locked up for extreme ignorance and stupidity.